October 4, 2007
2. Uniquely Designed
“God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Gen. 1:27
The animals were created according to their own kinds, but mankind was created in God’s own image. When God finished creating the animals, He saw that “it was good”, but when God finished creating mankind, He saw that “it was VERY good.” The fact that we are made in God’s image shows us the unique value we have in His eyes. God’s creation of you and me was according to His plans and purposes, and He made no mistakes! When you believe and accept that we are uniquely designed in God’s image and that He loves you unconditionally, you can begin to see yourself as loved and precious in His sight.
We each have hurts from the past that have shaped how we feel about ourselves; “you are inadequate for the job, ugly, stupid, fat, nobody likes you, you will never be successful, nobody will listen when you talk, etc.” Some of these feelings come from our families, and others occur from external events. Whatever it may be, THESE ARE LIES! When you are aware that everyone around you has emotional wounds, you can better understand the relationship of humans.
If you look at any religious description of hell it is the same as human society. Hell is a place of suffering, a place of fear, a place of war and violence, a place of judgment and no justice, a place of punishment that never ends. There are humans versus humans in a jungle of predators; humans full of judgment, full of blame, full of guilt, full of emotional wounds—envy, anger, hate, sadness, suffering. These things were brought into God’s once perfect world when sin was allowed in a very long time ago and ever since then these traits and actions have continued to be passed on through the lineages.
As a result, we carry these feelings of doubt and low self-esteem into our marriages. The world teaches domestication of humans the same way we domesticate a dog or any other animal: with punishment and reward. The world is numb to that teaching, which makes it seem completely “normal.” So, in turn we often expect our husbands to meet our need for acceptance and receive confirmation and assurance, yet God never intended that another person would meet the needs that only He can meet. God is the only one who will ever fulfill all of our needs since he is the author of our lives, no other human being can fill that ultimate void. Remember, we were created in His image, NOT the image that the world has created. Therefore, we need to look to the one who molded us at birth to find confirmation, NOT our husbands, who also live in the world with similar emotional wounds.
“There is only One Being who can satisfy the last aching abyss of the human heart, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.” -Oswald Chambers
Have you burdened your husband with being the source of your self-esteem?
If so, will you free him today of that burden?
(find time to ask your husband’s forgiveness, tell him that you want to find our acceptance in God. Ask for and thank him for his support as you seek to live out this truth.)
God created you the way you are, and He is incapable of making a mistake. When you accept the truth that you were made by God and for God and that He loves you unconditionally, you can begin to see yourself as loved and precious in His sight.
“Out of His abundant love, we are able to love others as ourselves.” Mark 12:31
jessicaf said,
October 11, 2007 @ 10:15 am
My name is Jessica and I am really looking forward to the conversations that spark from Dawn’s blogs. I have been married for almost four years and my relationship with my husband has revolutionized my life. He loves me with a love I have never experienced before, and it is bringing immense emotional healing to my life. Thankfully, I’m not the basket case I thought I was! It’s amazing when you can see yourself through someone else’s eyes. The problem is, I came to depend on him, just like the second lesson was talking about. The dynamic of our marriage was, if he did everything right to make me happy, things were great, even though my ideals were less than ideal, as I came to learn. I was very manipulative and abused his desire to make me happy. My intention was not to hurt him, but to fulfill a deep hole in my heart. I went into the mode of “I have to do what it takes to get what I need”. Sometimes that feeling overrides our rationality. Does anyone hear me on that? I don’t know why it took me so long to see what I was doing. He would tell me, but I always thought it was a mild bother, like he really thought it was cute and sexy for me to pout and give him the cold shoulder. Like, he knew that what I was saying was right, he just didn’t want to be bothered to change his ways. Hahahahaha, I laugh now, because it is so ridiculous! (Not to say that I often WAS right!!!) So, I thought I could do no wrong in John’s eyes.
One day, I was talking to John from Iraq on a satellite phone, just pacing back and forth behind our compound (I remember the moment vividly). And I finally understood the danger of the dynamic I was causing. I don’t really remember what incidents or conversations that led up to it, I just remember that moment of epiphany, when I realized how close I was to losing the John I loved. It was the sadness in his voice as he expressed how truly unhappy he was with dealing with that dynamic. How he loved me, but he was tempted to just drown himself in his work and hobbies in order to avoid the pressure. That was when I truly began wanting to make HIM happy. The thought of playing those manipulative games became repulsive to me in that moment. It was incredibly healing, a miracle of sorts, I guess. In that moment, the value of having him in my life didn’t diminish, it increased a thousand fold. Our marriage wasn’t for MY HAPPINESS anymore, it was for a much grander scheme, including both of our personal growths and so much more that I don’t even know…I’m also looking forward to exploring that with this study. Anyways, our marriage is much different now. The time we spent apart while deployed was horrible, but it was fruitful. I guess it removed us far enough from the daily grind of marriage to see the really significant stuff going on. Thank God for that. I’m sorry it took spending 14 months in Iraq to do it, though!!!
I am realizing how important it is for us to maintain and cultivate friendships with each other as women. I, honestly, am a little lonely. It’s nice to be able to admit that finally. I don’t even know who is on this post, but I trust that our hearts are connected through our desire for God. I’m new to my town and it’s taking some time to really connect with anyone. My cats don’t exactly cut it but they help!!
‘Til next time